This piece isn’t sitting well with me, and I’m trying to discern why that is. I believe it’s because there are loose parallels between my story and that of your daughter, and I also had a Mother who was very proud of my “giftedness” – until she wasn’t. You briefly compare Jane to your other children, and I want to highlight that they are probably more alike than different (Jane may very well meet the criteria for autism as well, given that it’s a vague diagnosis with diverse symptom presentation). At 31, following many years of street-level homelessness, addiction and forced psychiatric treatment (and removing my Mother from my life), my conclusion is this: parents ought have flexible expectations. Being “profoundly gifted” (which, for the record, is operationalized through western empiricism and thus excludes many brilliant people) can be cumbersome. Jane may one day wish to pursue “normalcy” and you should be prepared for that. A few years ago I decided to to get a PhD at Oxford because after many years of my differences being simultaneously pathologized and fetishized, I thought it was appropriate. I applied while black-out drunk (I was black-out drunk for the entirety of my Masters’ degree), and easily got full funding. The moment I arrived, I imploded and was once more institutionalized. It took dropping out and becoming homeless again (because the supports for neurodivergent folks who have been traumatized are nil) to realize that while intellect can be nice, it’s no substitute for authentic connection. Your daughter is nuanced; be ready for her to abruptly stop caring, or to resent you for putting her on a pedestal. Remind her that she is much more than her achievements, and don’t implicitly pressure her to be exceptional.