There’s nothing intrinsically wrong with kink (including cannibalism, if all parties consent). The issue with AH is that he’s stated during interviews that he used to enjoy rough sex with his (now ex) wife, but he stopped being able to have it because he started to respect her. That’s not kink, that’s getting off on abuse. BDSM is more safe than vanilla sex in principle; it necessitates negotiation, ongoing, enthusiastic consent, including and especially when power is being relinquished temporarily, and explicit discussions of personal preferences. That is not the same as being aroused by hurting people who don’t want to be hurt by you. Whatever the case, AH is about as bad at sexting as most of the dating app crowd.