Our relationship with alcohol is very different, but I don’t believe that “progress” ceases to exist just because one resumes drinking. I wrote about this recently, but measuring recovery by abstinence can trigger a shame spiral and obscure the goodness we’re doing for ourselves. If you felt good while abstinent, great! If you need drinking to alleviate some of the external challenge right now, also fine! Try to be gentle with yourself. Your insights weren’t in vain.