Interesting piece. Ultimately it comes down to epistemology: our specific historical and cultural contexts will provide meaning-making processes for us. I’ve had similar experiences but grew up in an abusive, agnostic household: I was subsequently diagnosed with a host of mental illnesses. I now identify as Mad and neurodivergent, but will never attribute my inner world to religion. No schema of interpretation is inherently “right,” as long as yours works for you.