I appreciate that you value discretion, but I would caution about seeking support from just Al-Anon. You mention the stigma around addiction, but nowhere is this stigma more apparent than in the rooms of 12 step groups themselves. Al-Anon members in particular propagate the myth of “enabling,” and it was they who convinced my mother that sending a 19 year old me to a homeless shelter so that I would “hit bottom” was a good idea. I didn’t literally die, but after nearly three years homeless and being exposed to unfathomable trauma I often wish I had. Part of me will forever be trapped there, and I have no relationship with my family today. All of this is to say, think critically and independently to the best of your ability. If something seems “off,” regardless of the source, listen to yourself.